I have shared on my social media very openly that I struggle with depression and anxiety. I was ashamed of it for so long because I felt like something was wrong with me and people would think badly of me. I felt like it was me making an excuse to not be able to deal with life and I was so hard on myself for feeling like this.
I also have shared that I recovered from eating disorders. When my bulimia was completely out of control I had to go to therapy as a last step before inpatient treatment. I also hated the thought of therapy but my doctor pretty much made it non-negotiable. After months of therapy it was determined that my eating disorder was how I DEALT with my depression. I felt like I had zero control over my life, I was completely lost and miserable but food and purging was something I had control over.
It was a long road but I can proudly say I am pretty much fully recovered from my ED. I still struggle with the scale and body image but my eating is so much healthier, I haven't purged in over 2 years and I am the healthiest I have ever been. With the recovery though my depression actually got worse. Suddenly I didn't have my "coping mechanism" anymore and I had to find new ways to deal. It is a work in progress! Some days are great, some days I don't want to get out of bed. But everyday is a step in the right direction.
Instead of eating, I turned to workouts, friends, reading and shopping to deal with my depression. (The wallet doesn't love the shopping part, but you really can't have too many workout clothes). Personal development also did wonders on healing my mind, which used to be my worst enemy. I love listening to podcasts, audio books, youtube videos and reading books.
If you suffer from a mental illness, it's ok to ask for help! It isn't anything to be ashamed of or hide. You aren't alone in the struggle.
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